Thinking. Writing. :-)

Life. Water.

Your life is being poured out every day.  You can’t stop it.  Where is it going?

Sacrifice is built in to us.  We can’t get away from it.

Life is pouring out. Only out.  Where is it going?

Running, trying to catch it.  Plug up the holes. Stagnate.

Life is pouring out. Only out. Where is it going?

Struggle.  Try to fill yourself.  Pour it back in.  Impossible. 

Life is pouring out. Only out.  Where is it going?

We are finite.  Born with only so much.  Limited.

Still pouring out.  Only out. Where is it going?

Getting empty.  Feeling weak.  Scared of emptiness. Incomplete.

Life is pouring out.  Only out.  Where is it going?

Turning.  Giving.  Pouring into others.  Feeling better, still not complete.

Life is pouring out. Running out.  

Admission. I’m not enough.  I can’t do this.  Incomplete.

Surrender. Not my own. I need Another to pour in me.

Submission. Get under.  Pouring down, all into me.

Life is pouring out. In and out.  All through me.

 

Life

The trip that was supposed to be two weeks away had to be moved to this weekend, so I am rushing around trying to get ready. That mainly involves getting certain food ready to travel. ha I've tried not to be too picky about what my kids eat when we're gone, but if I don't prepare at all we have some pretty bad consequences. Of course, I've also been making sure bills are paid and clothes are washed.

Today I was having a conversation with a friend who lost her 3-year-old daughter almost a year ago. I always feel that anything I have to offer is just shallow because my loss was of a child I never got to know, but I do know some of the feelings and questions that loss brings. I think one of the biggest issues for me is trust. I told Evan earlier this year that I just can't trust God. I know that sounds petty and trivial, but that is honestly how I felt. All I was facing was a sick child, but the fear of having that child taken away from me or seeing that child in pain overwhelmed me. How do I trust a God if I don't know He will shield me from pain? How do I submit myself (which is what He requires and must have) to a God whom I cannot trust? Without faith, it is impossible to please God. I have to decide what I am going to do. I have to believe Him and His Word.

God is good. No matter what I see or hear, I must believe that God is good. I tend to judge Him by my standards, but He IS good. Everything He is, is the very definition of good.
So, what did I do? I knew I had no where else to go. That sounds pathetic, but even the disciples said the same thing to Jesus when He asked if they were going to leave Him. Who else has the words of life? No one. I could get mad and run away, but He is the only one who gives meaning to life. I could tell Him that His logic stinks and that I don't like it, but it doesn't change the fact that He is truth. If I want truth or goodness or life or love, it must be through Him.
So I asked Him for help, which He's already given: His Spirit and His Word. I read and I know that it is truth. "No sooner doth the truth....come into the soul's sight, but the soul knows her to be her first and old acquaintance." ~Whichcote
And I love Him. When I look, He is everywhere. I see Him in my boy's excited face and in my girl's sweet kisses. And He is good.

Good day

It has been a really good day. I've gotten quite a bit done, and we got to play at the park close to our house with some of our friends for quite a while today. The weather was beautiful, and we enjoyed the sunshine. :-)
For some reason, though, I just feel tired. Maybe it's because I am. ha I also read something I shouldn't have read on a random blog this evening, and it caught me off-guard in my tired state of mind. It was a homeschooling blog, but there was a link to a story at the bottom about their little girl who died. And I clicked. Very bad idea. I cried. I got mental images of dead, limp babies. Ugh. I hate death. And, to be honest, I'm scared of it. Not for myself, really, but for my children. I should rephrase. I'm not scared of my own death but any premature (in my eyes) death of my children. I'm scared of the horrid feeling of watching my child die.
So. I'm not going to sink. I'm going to remember. His promises. His Word. Without those things, life would be miserable. But WITH them? Life is just a passing through. We are not of this world; this world is not our home. My life is hid with Christ in God. I do not live for myself. My life is not my own. I serve Another. And He LOVES me.
"Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls --
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer's feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills." --Habakkuk 3:17-19

I am amazed at the difference it makes. I love His Word. :-)

Books I am reading

...or have read in the past weeks. :-)
Bono In Conversation with Michka Assayas was very interesting. Someone on FB posted an excerpt from the book and got my attention. It was published in 2004, I believe, so he may have changed some, but I found it thought-provoking. I suppose I had already put him in a category in my head without realizing it. I found it most surprising how often his conversation turned to God, and in such a real way.
One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I really needed to hear/read what she had to say. Her words helped me to refocus on what is essential: a thankful heart. She was so practical in her application, especially from a mother's point of view.
For the Family's Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay. I've read For the Children's Sake, and now I'm reading this before (most likely) giving it to someone else to read. I haven't read too much of it yet, but so far she's mostly talking about foundational worldview issues.
Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian. I've read this book before; now I'm just going through and reading/praying the prayers. This is another book that has been just what I need. I have seen things begin to happen, in my attitude and in his. The funny thing is that I'm surprised. Prayer works? Really? Thank you, God, for being so patient.
Books I need:
How to be Patient When Raising a Boy
How to Include as Much Physical Labor in Day-to-Day Activities as Possible (for above boy)
How to Raise Your Specific Children (Guidelines, Talking Points, and Paper bag included)
Oh, wait. I suppose the Holy Spirit would like some influence in there, hmmm? I just have to be still and wait on Him. Maybe that's where the boy gets it from. ;-)

Love this...

"When the laundry is for the dozen arms of children or the dozen legs, it's true, I think I'm due some appreciation. So comes a storm of trouble and lightning strikes joy. But when Christ is at the center, when dishes, laundry, work, is my song of thanks to Him, joy rains. Passionately serving Christ alone makes us the loving servant of all....The work becomes worship, a liturgy of thankfulness."
One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

One word of warning about this book. The first page is, hmmmm, interesting. I probably would not have thought so had Evan not found the book lying on our counter before I had a chance to read it and read the first paragraph. He thought it was very, very strange. He said that she was messed up. I was washing dishes, so I finally convinced him to read it to me to show me what he meant. It was really hilarious. In spite of that beginning, I really enjoyed the book. ;-) Now I've got to go back and reread it without the noise of children in the background.

I went to a Charlotte Mason seminar this weekend and enjoyed myself very muchly. :-) I especially enjoyed the session labeled: Four Ways to Destroy Your Child's Desire for Knowledge. ha I came away with a lot of good ideas and information. I am so thankful to have this group.

Brrrr!

We had a lovely weekend with wonderful weather, but the cold is back now! I have to remind myself to be thankful for the beautiful weather while it's here; it is, after all, February. ;-)
It looks like study time will be at least three hours a night for four nights (he scheduled Friday nights as "off" nights!), and 4-6 each day on the weekend. I CAN do this. Last week was a good week, and I'm thankful that the weather allowed us to be outside so much of the time.
Okay, so, I'm trying to simplify. Today I threw away my coupon box. I took out only coupons of items that we actually buy and threw everything else away. I'm hoping this will prevent me from keeping coupon inserts lying on the bar for forever because I just don't cut them out. It doesn't take long to flip through them and pick the two or three coupons I might actually use to cut out. I just haven't had time to do "deals" at Walgreens lately, so I'm saying good-bye.
Now I have to figure out how to cut some things will really help me, not just something that I've already been letting go since the chick was born. ha '
I made granola this weekend and actually made yogurt again. I think kefir is going to be a rare thing around here, only for soaking, because we just eat yogurt better. And yogurt and granola makes a really, really, simple breakfast. :-)
I cut up some of my Granny Smith apples and dried them, and the kids love them. I'm hoping to get another 20 pounds at the next Azure Standard pick-up. Dried apples just make a wonderful take-along snack that isn't messy. I chopped some of them and put them in the granola. Yay for a simple breakfast, right? ha
My other area of simplicity is going to be my garden. I'm not going to go crazy over it this year. We are members of the farm, so I'll just plan on that and grow a few things that I really want to grow. My garlic is already coming up, which is exciting! It took so little time and effort.
Laundry is calling, so I must run. The chick has had a low-grade fever today and been very, um, clingy/whiny/fussy, so I'm having to work overtime on this dreary day to keep a good attitude. :-)

A new day

I think some people may have looked at me strangely when I did not celebrate profusely when Evan graduated with his masters degree. I knew he still had at least a full year (including a whole summer) of accounting classes to take to become eligible to sit for the CPA exam. Everyone kept asking me as the year of classes drew to a close if I was happy that it was over. I was not excited. I knew he had to study for the CPA exam. That is where we are. He has his Becker review course, and he told me that "they" tell him to expect it to take about 30 hours a week and to tell significant others to give them a break because it will be worth it. ;-) If only I hadn't been hearing that the past five years. Or more. ;-) No, really, I'm trying to be supportive. He came home for dinner tonight, stayed about an hour and a half, then went to a library to study since home is a bit too distracting. He said he'll be home by eleven. Three hours every week night and seven hours each day on the weekend is how he figures it. I'm hoping that he's overshot a little. However, I must say, I DO want him to pass all four tests the first time. If he does, October will probably be the end.
So here I am. I've been majorly emotional this weekend, almost despairing as I looked ahead at all the husband/daddy-less time. However, today I discovered the reason (probably) for the slightly over-dramatic reaction, so I am trying to think hopeful thoughts. I also got my floor mopped today, and that is BIG in my world. I feel like a different person if my floor is clean. I would honestly pay someone to come in once a week and mop my floor, especially since it never gets done that often (unless you count the hundreds of times a week I'm on my hands and knees cleaning up a mess that has been made). :-)
I also (while mopping my floor) made crepes with some sourdough starter that has been in my fridge for close to a month. My fridge is FULL right now, and something had to go. This starter was my "extra," and I kept forgetting to take it out and feed it. I even made a double batch of crepes because I had almost two cups of starter. And Evan loved them. ?? I'll use them to make breakfasts/lunches/snacks for the kids. They are so useful, really.
That's all, I suppose. Maybe I'll go watch a movie and knit. Or clean the bathrooms. :-@ I'm always so much more productive when he's not home. But I'd rather have him home. ;-)

I love this song.

Newsboys
When The Tears Fall lyrics

I've had questions, without answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain
But there's one thing, that I'll cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You're true

When hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour
When pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

In the lone hour of my sorrow
Through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me and sustain me
My defender, forevermore

When hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour
When pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

And I will praise You, I will praise You
When the tears fall, still I will sing to You
And I will praise You, Jesus praise You
Through the suffering still I will sing

When hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour
When pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

Oh yes, You are good to me
You've always been good to me
So trustworthy

When hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour
When pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

And I will praise You, and I will praise You
When the tears fall, still I will sing to You
(I will sing to You) I will praise You,
Jesus praise You through the suffering
Still I will sing

How faithful and true
Sustain me through and through
You are hope and truth
You're my spring of living water
You're my spring of living water

In the lone hour of my sorrow

Like a well watered garden
Who springs never fail
Faithful and truth
Like a well watered garden
Like a spring that never fails
You're my spring and never fails

Kombucha

A friend had an extra "scoby" (symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast - yummy), so I thought maybe I'd try to make some kombucha. It's been twelve days, and no new "baby" has formed, so I have no clue if I've done it right. I'm still waiting on my friend to get back to me on my questions. I did taste it, though, and it is very interesting. Right now it tastes like apple juice mixed with ginger ale (sort-of). All I did was brew black tea, add white sugar (supposedly the scoby eats all the sugar), and put the scoby on top. It's been fermenting for 12 days now. Hmmmm.
In other news, Evan loves my sourdough biscuits. I made some a few nights ago to go with soup, and I just put one by his plate. He ate it then said, "Wow, that was outstanding!" ;-) Yes, it made me happy. He still doesn't want sourdough pizza crust. And he will NOT taste the kombucha. ha ha ha

Currently I'm trying to get back into a monthly menu plan. I don't know that I ever completely got it down before, but over the holidays I was really going from week to week. I put two meals in the freezer this week just by splitting casseroles, eating one half and freezing the other (shepherd's pie and Mexican lasagna).
Nathan's school is going well, all fifteen minutes of it. :-) Well, it would probably be closer to an hour to two hours, depending on the day, if you added all the time I read to him outside of our Bible story. Of course, if you counted the time that I cook with him, talk to him about the water table, or show him how to measure with his tape measure, we could be talking a hefty amount of school time! :-D
Oh, I'm also going to be starting to work on his manners at the table. He isn't that bad whenever it's just us, but when other people come over he is not pleasant. I need to research something fun to do with him that includes being a gentleman and having manners. I guess I should be doing that right now. That, and researching the link between saturated fats and heart disease. Evan is convinced that I'm going to give him heart disease. My reply is that, if he gets heart disease, I will blame his stress level and lack of exercise. ;-)

P.S. This article made him feel better.

Sour dough

So, I've officially burned out my husband on sourdough. Poor thing. He says it smells rotten. :-) He likes the pancakes, crepes, and crackers, but he doesn't like the bread, pizza dough, or English muffins. Oh, he also liked the sourdough pasta I made. I guess I should give up the things he just doesn't like and move ahead. Or only have the kids and I eat them. ;-)
I made pasta again today, but it is just difficult to get it the right consistency for my extruder. I guess I should make the regular recipe to try to get the feel for the consistency.
I'm making kombucha. Evan is taking that really well, actually. I think he's curious. I told him not to look at it because it would gross him out, but he did anyway. He said that I'm crazy. ha Good thing I don't always take him seriously.
This month I am hoping to get back on schedule with Nathan's school work; I just really need a few hours without distraction to work on it, and I haven't gotten that yet. :-) We read like crazy, and Nathan is such a thinker. When it comes to sounding out words, though, he totally balks. I am going to take a very slow approach, but I'm really wondering if he's even ready. I've heard enough people talk about their children and reading that I'm not worried that he won't. I'm just worried he won't be reading on his daddy's schedule. And daddy is a little anal about such things. Okay, not a little. ha We've just seen some really bad homeschool examples set, and Evan is determined that I will not homeschool like that. I think the biggest problem is that I've done all the research and reading, and it all makes sense. He just pops his head into our world occasionally (like when he's not in school), and he freaks out because our world doesn't look like he thought it would. :0) If I take the time to really explain my philosophy to him, he seems to get it and relax.
My philosophy? Well, I suppose that, in regards to reading, I think that Nathan is already a well-read child. I was thinking about the books he has already had read to him, and it's quite a list. He loves it, though. His mind, his thinking, is being formed. He has a great vocabulary, and he uses it. He cannot read, though. But the physical act of reading will come when he is developmentally read for it. It's my job to constantly be on the look-out for his readiness. Every day we work on sounding out one word, two or three letters long. He still tries to add letters that aren't there or making ridiculously long words out of three letters. He often looks away while sounding out the word. He's not ready yet. But I really believe that it will come. If his mind is busy making other connections right now, I don't want to force the reading. I read in Endangered Minds that children who are taught the higher-level math skills at a young age will learn to do those equations. Their brains will force a path, no matter how crazy and crooked. However, that path will not be the easiest path, and it will require much mental effort (and often lack understanding) and that is always the path the brain will follow. If the children are taught the higher-level math skills when their brains are ready, their brains make simple paths because all they have to do is build on to what they already understand and what their brains are ready for. Goodness, that was hard to explain, and I'm not sure I did the best job explaining it. Long story short, I believe that when his brain is ready, he will take off. And he will love it. I know two moms whose boys did not learn to read until they were eight years old. By the time they were nine, they had read The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Of course, I doubt they had only had Cat in the Hat read to them up until that time. ;-)
Homeschooling is a huge responsibility. I have to be willing to stay alert. I have to know my child well enough to know when he is not ready for something as opposed to just being too lazy to put forth the effort to do it. But I'm happy because he would not be given the opportunity to learn at his developmental level in school. He would be forced to conform to whatever nonsense standards the schools put out there. He would also learn, like I did even in college, to work a system to get the desired results, which does not always entail learning or knowledge. Of course, I've said nothing about the highest reason why I homeschool; this is just one of the many reasons.
Goodness, I think I've said enough. I wonder how much of this I will agree with in a year. ;-) I'll say this, though, I am so excited to be able to walk this road with my kids. That's why I love the Charlotte Mason philosophy: it involves all of life, created through Him and for Him. There is a purpose. :-) If my kids get that point, I'll be happy.

That time of year

The time of year when I get a little sad and take to writing in my "me-blog." Now THAT is sad. ;-)
Nicholas would be three this December. I cannot imagine having a three-year-old along with Nathan. I think the holidays make it even worse because I feel like my kids are alone, especially Nathan. He gets so rambunctious with so many people around and no other kids, so this week we sent him in the backyard to play and run off some of his energy. I looked outside, and he just looked so lonely (probably more my perspective than his), and I couldn't help wondering what could have been. I probably wouldn't really think about it had I not been expecting him to have a little brother to run around and play with.
Well, that's about all. :-)

Quickly...

Just thought I'd pop my head (figuratively, of course) into the blog and say hi. :-) I'm still my same ol' weird self. Still drinking raw milk, still nursing my child (who is over a year), still cloth diapering (though not at night b/c we're having rash issues), and still homeschooling...somewhat. See? Still weird. Still here. ;-)
My new "thing" lately has been sourdough. I am having so much fun with it! I signed up for an e-course about sourdough (gnowfglins.com), and I have really enjoyed it. I've made all sorts of things, but my favorites so far are the crackers, pancakes, and English muffins!
I think my next thing may be trying to make my own elderberry syrup for the winter. :-}
Well, I said quickly, and I meant quickly!! ha ha
Ta ta!!

One day at a time

That is going to be my motto for the next few months. :-)
I have had such a hard time lately keeping up with everything. It seems that the bathrooms always need to be cleaned, the floors always need to be mopped, and there are still several million things that I feel I should be doing.
Yesterday I did a bunch of cooking/baking so I can feel like I'm starting out Evan's semester with some back ups in the freezer. :-) I made pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, peach jam, chicken broth (by the way, don't put too much warm broth in the freezer at one time...), stuffed manicotti shells, and cooked pork (for fried rice). I still have to make a big batch of chili. I blend it and use it for chili-cheese toast, frito pie, and hot dogs. It's very nice to have in the freezer for quick meals. I really need to go through my freezers because I just don't have much space. I have lots of deer meat still, so that takes a lot space. I haven't figured out if it's okay to thaw, cook, and re-freeze meat. I should look it up.
I'm still working with Nathan on his vowels, but our school time is anything but school-ish. We've been known to do everything but the reading while I'm doing dishes. I just started putting the vowel magnets on the fridge, and we review them while I'm working in the kitchen.
One last thing, we joined a farm! ha We bought a membership (you can work it off, but I'm not even going to try that this year), and then we pick our own produce and buy it for very low prices. The farm has hoop houses, so we'll have something to pick almost year round. And it's all natural; no pesticides or chemical things are put on the crops. I've gone a couple of times, and I think I'm really going to like it. We get grocery shopping and nature time done at the same time! :-) And Nathan loves to help me pick. We also can get our eggs right down the road, and our farm also sells raw milk!! I was very blessed to find this place.

Butter and other things

I made butter today! I pretty much just followed these directions (except I used my food processor), and I have butter! AND it was made from raw cream from the dairy. Very neat. I think Evan was upset that I didn't have anything for supper that would call for butter. ha He really wanted to try it out! So tomorrow I've got to start my bread. I'm completely out, anyway.
I've been trying my hand at sourdough bread lately, but I haven't gotten used to it yet. The last loaf was pretty dense, and we left not too long after I made it, so it got very dry. I stuck it in the fridge to keep it from molding, and today I cut it into cubes and made croutons out of it. They smelled so good baking in the oven! At least I didn't feel like I was wasting! My sourdough pancakes and sourdough pizza crust turned out great, so I'm happy with that.
We are still trying to keep our 15 minutes of "school time" as part of our daily routine, and I think it's going well. I've had to make several changes (banging, stomping, etc. while counting; standing at the refrigerator to go over letters), but he's learning his memory verses and getting very excited about that! :-) I've been looking at some book lists online and checking out books from those lists; the only problem is that they are long books. My vocal chords are going to be calloused by the time he gets old enough to read on his comprehension level! I still haven't found the limit to his attention span when I'm reading to him. My throat starts hurting before he gets tired of being read to. I shouldn't complain, though, because it is honestly a wonderful problem to have. I'm just having to learn to lay down things that aren't so important and make time to read to him.

School?

So, I have begun. I got The Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading and started going through that with Nathan. The first lessons are just teaching the sounds of the alphabet, so I'm going to go through those and see how I like them. Also, at the end I can decide if we should go on, take a break, or go back through the letters. Or we could scrap the book altogether and decide to try something else. :-) The lessons are very plain, but I think I like that. So far, our "school" consists of prayer for the lesson, memory verse, counting to 30, and the lesson. All of this is usually done in about 10 minutes, which is just about all Nathan can handle. :-) It's funny how he can sit an hour or so at a time to hear a good book, but getting him to ten minutes of school requires at least one "we're almost done, and we're going to finish." I go back and forth on what I think, but for now I think it's good to train him to do something a bit uncomfortable as long as it's short.
I've been battling a sore throat this whole week, and last night my ear started aching. Ugh. So I've been trying to deal with that without going to the doctor. However, if it's still hurting tomorrow I'm going to go in just to make sure I know what it is. I just want a nice weekend! I started taking olive leaf extract today per my MIL's instructions, and I also started putting ear drops in my ears. The ear drops seemed to help quite a bit today. It's amazing how a dull aching pain can really throw one's day off. Anyway.
I'm desperately trying to go through my freezers and make a master list of the things I have in them. I am very thankful for my chest freezer in my laundry room; but if I were to give my opinion to anyone, chest freezers are very hard to dig through, especially when one is short.
Noelle has been drinking about 4 ounces of goat milk a day for the last few days. After being exhausted then getting sick, I think my milk supply was really off in the evenings, which was causing Noelle to wake up more at night. I started giving her some milk in a sippy cup at supper (nursing her again before bed), and she's been sleeping at night! Yay! Sleep for her means sleep for me, which means more milk, too! ha I'm very happy that she's been taking the milk, though, because when I first bought the milk she didn't seem interested at all.
One more random fact for the night: Noelle got three mosquito bites on her back yesterday in the 20 or so minutes we were outside. I found them as I was bringing her inside, and I immediately went to the internet to see what natural remedies there were. I opted to cut a garlic clove in half and rub it on the bites. An hour or so later, all that was left was little pinprick marks! I was impressed, so I thought I would pass on the info. ;-)

Whoa...

So, my oldest child is now four. FOUR. That means I have to really start thinking about the reality of teaching my child to read. I actually look forward to homeschooling my children and am not daunted by huge book lists or the magnitude of material that needs to be learned. I am slightly daunted by teaching my child to read. The main reason for my anxiety is my current indecision on which method to follow in teaching him. I have read Charlotte Mason's method, and I know that method would not fly in our house, if for no other reason than Evan's strong belief in phonics. :-) I am now reading The Well-Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer and Jessie Wise and wondering how their method would work in our house. Of course, I can never just leave the decision at face value; I must try to find a reason why one of them should work and the other not work (although I know that both have worked with children). I have reduced the decision down to this question: Should one teach children phonics rules from the beginning or just teach children words and let them make their own generalizations about phonics rules? If I spoke German, I would have no difficulty making this decision; but I do not. ha
So this is where the rubber meets the road. Can someone come and clean my house while I'm trying to make these decisions and implement my plan of action??

Today

I spent $22 at garage sales today. This is what it got me:
-coat for Nathan
-2 pairs of pajamas for Nathan
-6 or so girl dresses
-one set of illustrated animal encyclopedias (18 books)
-a 2-foot stack of quilt squares
-five random books
-"When We Were Young" by A. A. Milne and an organic gardening book
-two nature videos
-one pillowcase (hmmmm, I really want to try a pillowcase dress like this)
-one Robin Hood hat.
I think that's all. :-) The quilt squares are in really great colors and prints, so I'm looking forward to playing around with those. Hannah and I are going to make quilt-type wall hangings, but we may have to add in some of these new colors that we found.
In reading news, I am currently reading Charlotte Mason's Formation of Character, and I really enjoy the problem/solution setup. It's amazing how I read a book about character and find myself thinking of myself and my own character flaws more than about my kiddos. I am also reading Don Quixote, but I don't think I'm going to have time to finish it before I have to turn it back in to the library. :-) It's much lighter reading than what I have been reading (Wild Swans and There's No Me Without You).

Vacation

Okay, so I'd really rather a vacation include my husband, BUT that does not always happen. I'm at my parents' house with my kiddos and cousin, and it's rather amazing how much sleep I'm getting. I think being away from my house where I am constantly seeing things that need to be done is especially helpful. This is the first time that I've actually been away from home and gotten more sleep instead of less. Noelle is actually sleeping here (a first), so that is very helpful. :-)
The Charlotte Mason seminar was interesting. I think my biggest interest is how a Charlotte Mason education looks in the first few years. I want to know how other moms do things, especially moms with younger children. Two things I want to implement as soon as possible are habit training and Scripture memorization. Susan Shafer has a very interesting method of memorizing and keeping the Scriptures fresh in your memory. The habit training idea was not new, but it gave me the extra push to get started. I just have to pick one and begin.
I need to go now. Someone needs to be put in bed!

Life

Today, as I was pulling away from a local farm, I stopped and said to Hannah, "Did I really just buy goat milk?" Yes, I did. Would you like to know why? Sure you would. If not, go read someone else's blog. ;-)
My daughter had her 9-month appointment last Friday. It seems that we are starting a trend of my children falling off growth charts after they start crawling. Of course, Noelle started out more toward the bottom of the growth chart than did Nathan, so she fell off quicker. ha She's in the third percentile. Not technically off I suppose. But close. My doctor was not pushy, but he wants to see her gain weight. Do I know how much milk she is getting?? No, God must not have been thinking when he created female bodies. They don't have milkometers on them. For shame. What about pumping? Yeah, when am I supposed to get some time to hide in a room away from my almost four year old to pump? So he suggested adding a formula feed in to her diet or trying to get something extra in her. I'm going with the something. I've been letting her go at her own pace with veggies and stuff; you know, letting her enjoy her food. But no more! Purees rule the roost from now on! Beef with liver! Peas! Beans! An egg yolk a day! And to top it all off, I'm going to try to add in a goat milk feed a day. I'm not sure how that will go, but I'll at least try. The problem at the moment is that, if I am nearby, she doesn't want the stupid goat milk. I mean, she'd much rather have me. (Sounds like a starving baby, huh?) Anyway. There's the rant. I would bemoan the fact that I have skinny children, but we're skinny people! What do they expect?!
I think the fact that I spent most of the post talking about my problem and not the goat milk shows how "normal" my weirdness has become. So I'll answer your questions.
Why goat milk? It's much closer to human milk than is cow milk.
Why not formula? Evan read on one of the cans' list of ingredients "corn syrup solids." Nope, not going there. Or, not until I try everything else! (I'm really going to try not to go on a rant about formula, really, because I could go on and on for days.)
What am I thinking? Well, at the moment, I'm thinking babies who are breastfed past six months should have their own chart made with statistics only from breatsfed babies. ;-)

Okay, on to a new topic.

We went to a farm this morning and picked blueberries with a couple of families from the Charlotte Mason group. The trip was almost called of on account of rain and several families didn't go because of the mud, but we went! And it was wonderful! It sprinkled on us a bit, but it was cloudy, cool (for this area), and great! Then, to top it all off, I got my four pounds of berries for free! Yay! (Plus, one of the ladies said that her baby had been in the negative on the growth chart, and he was just fine. That made me feel a little better.)
I'm also going to a Charlotte Mason seminar this weekend (Friday night and Saturday morning), and I'm getting so excited! Yay! Yay! Yay! ha ha

Interesting

So I found Honey for a Woman's Heart, requested it from my library, and picked it up on Thursday. I absolutely love our library system. I get online, request a book, pick the library where I want it to go for pick-up, and then pick it up at my weekly library run with Nathan! It's wonderful. Truly. I even do it with his books so I feel like I'm actually getting some books that I really want him to read rather than whatever (almost literally) falls off the shelf while I'm in the library with him and Noelle.
Back to what I was saying. Honey for a Woman's Heart just makes me want to read! ha I got Evan to take me to the downtown library that night to pick up several books that I wanted to read. One of the ones I picked was Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China by Jung Chang. It's a biography by a woman about herself, her mother, and her grandmother. I am about half-way through it, and I am learning quite a bit about recent Chinese history through the eyes and experiences of someone who lived it. Very, very engaging.
So, now I'm loving the Charlotte Mason method of education even more. :-) I can see how much more one can learn by reading a biography than by reading a textbook full of the facts. Chang's story definitely draws you in and helps you understand a litte more why some of the events in Chinese history happened. I am actually about to let myself read for 10 minutes before the kiddos wake up. I'm hoping to finish by Thursday. :-)
On other fronts, I'm just chugging along. I am thankful that God's mercies are new every morning, especially in the child-rearing area. I am constantly brought to my knees by the whole experience, but I suppose I shouldn't complain about that. Maybe I should just learn to never get off my knees. :-) I am learning to let go of (or lay down) things that are not as important and focus on them, especially Nathan. I love having a clean house, complete menu plans, sewing projects, and so on. However, this is a time of intense growth for him, and I feel that I have to slow down and be there. Completely. Training, loving, talking, laughing, telling stories, reading books, looking at whatever in the world he thinks is important to look at, and just being with him. I feel like there are so many character traits that could go good or bad during this time, but I have to be watching and vigilent because the easiest path is not the best. And it's so hard. Because I like to do other things. Like write incomplete sentences. But I have to remember what is important and that raising a child is wonderful but a sacrifice.
How's that for a random post?