Missing him

Tonight I am missing him. Random, I know. I love my little Noella-bella. I think I am enjoying her even more than I did Nathan at this age. I am so thankful for her and her little sweet self. Yet I miss the one who I never got to meet.
Grief is so random. Random, random, random. :-)
I am sitting here in this quiet house, as my Noelle sleeps and the others have gone to get us a movie to enjoy on this spring break week, and I stumbled upon a blog and remembered that sadness. I quickly got up from the computer and went to sweep my kitchen because I had a knot in my throat the size of a baseball and I did not want to cry (still don't). Is crying because something triggered a memory not real grief? Is it allowing emotion to overcome you? I don't know. Random.
They are home... ;-)