32 Weeks

Another little goal is met! :-) The next goal is 34 weeks and then 36 weeks. Evan is starting to get a bit anxious thinking about labor and delivery again, but the last few weeks I have been feeling no dread or nervousness when I think about it. The only thing that worries me a bit is whether or not I'll know when to get to the hospital. My doctor seems to think the whole process will go very quickly, but my body doesn't generally listen to doctors. ha With Nathan I was dilated between 3 and 4 for at least 2 1/2 weeks and dilated to a 5 for four days (after the doctor said I'd have him in 24 hours). When I got the hospital with Nathan, I was dilated to an 8, and the doctor there said that my doc was an hour and a half away and that I would have Nathan before my doc got there. Do you think my body listened?? No, seven and a half hours later, Nathan finally came out...and my doctor was there. :-) So, I am praying for wisdom to know when to get to the hospital because I do not want an unplanned home/car delivery. That would not be funny. I just don't want to be up at the hospital too long because they want to control the process a bit too much for my liking (especially since I am going to try to go no-meds again).
In other news, my body is definitely rebelling against bedrest. I think my little chickadee is getting big enough to make sleeping difficult, and I'm not as flexible as I was when I was this far along with Nathan. I finally found a comfortable position last night only to discover this morning that I had caused about fifty different muscles to be extremely upset with me. :-) Mom got a good laugh at my expense as I was getting off the couch to walk back to my bathroom. I'm sure I looked rather funny. Pregnancy waddle plus stove-up waddle. ha

31 Weeks, 6 Days

Tomorrow I will be 32 weeks!! Yay! :-) Another milestone almost achieved.
This weekend I've been doing a lot more research on Charlotte Mason's methods and how those methods will actually look in practice. I get so excited looking through the booklists and figuring out which elements of the CM method we will use and which ones we will do differently. I definitely love education. :-) I know we have a while before we actually start formal education, but it is nice to know where we need to be once we get to our "starting point."
Gotta run!

31 weeks, 4 days

I had my appointment yesterday, and it went really well. He said that I am the same as last week, so I haven't dilated or effaced any more. I've been the same for the past three weeks, so I think my doctor is starting to think more positively about getting her farther along than 34 weeks. He even mentioned that it would be great to get her to the point where she would come home from the hospital with me (which he said could actually happen between 36 and 37 weeks).
Mom went home last night for the weekend, so we are on our own. It is nice to have some normal family time, and I think Mom probably appreciates the break from "mommyhood." :-) She has been really great taking care of everything, and Nathan and I usually get an hour or two (throughout the day) of "just us" time. I think it helps Nathan, and I know it helps me feel like I can still be involved with Nathan. I'm so glad that he loves to read so much and that we let him set up his train set on our coffee table! Of course, Evan has totally stepped up in every area, too. Nathan loves all the daddy-time he gets!

31 weeks, 1 day

This week seems to be going pretty slowly. :-) This whole morning I just did not feel well. I felt light-headed and nauseated. After lunch I started feeling better, so I have had a good afternoon. It is so hard sometimes to feel like I'm actually doing any good since I really don't feel like anything is even close to "going wrong." Most of my feeling badly comes from the medicine and lack of exercise. All I have to do to make myself refocus, though, is look online at the risks and challenges preterm babies face. Then I go happily and purposefully to my couch or bed. :-)
I also remind myself of a teacher friend who had to spend 10 or 11 weeks in the hospital on bedrest. Ughhh. That makes me count my blessings. :-) I mean, I got to go out in the sunshine today! That is something worth being thankful for!
Well, this is going to be all for tonight!

30 weeks, 4 days

We're getting so close to 31 weeks! :-) Every week is a huge accomplishment, and I am thankful for every day she stays inside. I have been doing pretty well, although I'm definitely starting to feel the effects of bedrest on my body. I think my emotions are probably pretty normal for someone on bedrest. ha I do pretty well, but occasionally something completely trivial will throw me into the "depths of despair." hee hee This morning the feeling was more like "Can I take a break from all this (my body and my emotions) for a while?" I just felt tired. I am doing better now, though. :-) One definitely has to make a decision to keep a good attitude sometimes. My number one rule: Don't dwell on the bad. My number two rule: Be grateful. (Evan helped me with that one.)

Today's Appointment

I had my weekly outing today. I have been feeling weird today and getting really flushed and hot in my face. My doctor said that bodies start acting weird once they stop moving, so I guess I'll just have to deal! I can tell my blood pressure has been low lately (which is what my medicine does), and today at the doctor's office it was 98/50. Ah well. Everything else was the same as it has been. My doctor says that he doubts I will make it to 37 weeks (I asked about bedrest after 37 weeks); he is just going to be happy to get me to 34. He even said that it may work out that he just lets me off bedrest after 34 or 35 weeks. My biggest concern is that I don't want Noelle to spend time in the NICU if at all possible. :-)

Nice Weekend

I have had a very nice weekend. :-) Mom went back to her house for the weekend and was going to take Nathan, but Evan decided to take Friday off so he could spend time with Nathan. It has been so nice to have a semi-normal weekend at home with the three of us. Evan has had quite a job between taking care of me and Nathan. When Mom is here with me, she gets a bit of a break every now and then when Nathan will come and just chill with me on the couch while reading a book or playing with something. He will also just come and play in the livingroom where I am. When Evan is home, he doesn't get a break from Nathan. Nathan wants to be with Daddy at all times. :-) I love watching them together.
So, I feel much more emotionally stable now. :-) I will be 30 weeks tomorrow, and I am very thankful that Noelle is still kicking around inside me. I'm trying to make small goals to look forward to. After I'm 32 weeks I can deliver at my hospital of choice; before then I have to go to a bigger hospital downtown. After 34 weeks my doctor said that I would have fewer restrictions since babies born at 34 weeks do really well. And at 37 weeks I'll probably be taking myself off bedrest. hee hee Okay, I might listen to my doctor's opinion.
Well, I think I'm going to go sit in my lounge chair outside for a bit! I have been missing the sunshine. And I'm so thankful that I picked up the lounge chair for 50 cents at a garage sale a couple of months ago. I do believe I'm getting my money's worth. :-)

Wowza

Okay, so I am pretty much an emotional wreck right now. ha My cervix is staying between closed and 1 cm. dilated, and my doctor told me today that I'll be on bedrest until I deliver. Hmph. He said I could lighten up a bit at 34 weeks, and there's no way I'll stay on any kind of bedrest after 37 weeks. ;-) I think he doesn't expect me to go that long. So, five weeks more of strict bedrest, and eight more until I'm 37 weeks. Wowza.
I don't like bedrest.
I've been reading my Charlotte Mason book Philosopy of Education and trying to figure out my approach to Nathan's education. :-) I know he's only three, but once Noelle does finally get here I won't be in much of a pondering mood for a while. ha And I truly enjoy reading about education. I look forward to teaching Nathan, and I think I'll be using quite a bit of Charlotte Mason's philosophy regarding education. I just have to figure out what will work best for Nathan, and how everything will fit into Evan's requirements. :-D I wish I had someone to discuss the book with, though.
Hmmm. I made a menu and grocery list tonight. I do not like the fact that I really don't know what is in my refrigerator anymore. Maybe I should follow Pooh's example and sing a Complaining Song. ;-) hee hee

Monday

So, life on bedrest. Funny, I really thought we had gotten past that point. I think my doctors were also thinking we were past that, too, because my specialist had said that the last appointment was more of a formality. I still am wondering exactly what happened. The specialist would’ve actually sent me home even after seeing my cervix shorten if only I hadn’t had another contraction while she was monitoring me. And, I think I only had the contraction because of how I was lying on the exam table. Ha Bodies are weird things anyway. I have an appointment with my regular doctor on Wednesday, so hopefully I’ll get to ask a few questions then.
I am feeling pretty stable today. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were a bit tough. I think those were my “wrap my head around it” days. :-) I just kept thinking of all the things I am not going to be able to do and, truthfully, feeling very sorry for myself. And a bit overwhelmed. Ha I definitely love my job and enjoy taking care of everything in my house. Having to let it all go and watch others do my work (or have it go undone) is a bit hard. I am so thankful to have Mom here to help me, though. I am just having to learn to let go.
Nathan is doing pretty well. I am so thankful that he loves to read and color. We did that together quite a bit today, and it makes me feel so much better to still be doing something with my kiddo. I think he enjoys all the reading, too. :-)

Home!

Wow. What a couple of days.
The past few weeks my cervix has been staying between 3.7 and 4.2 cm long, and my specialist was very happy. Yesterday I had my last appointment with her, more of a formality she had said, and something happened as she was measuring the cervix. The cervix went from 3.7 to 2.7. She said I had a contraction, although I didn’t feel it, and monitored me for thirty minutes. I had another contraction, so she wanted me to go to the hospital to be monitored for a couple of hours and to have my regular doctor digitally check me.
By the time I got to the hospital and was strapped into the monitors, I was freaking out and having light contractions. My doctor checked me and said I was one centimeter dilated. They gave me medicine to make my uterus calm down and also gave me a steroid shot to help mature Noelle’s lungs just in case I had her. Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike hospitals?? Noelle was NOT happy at the monitors being strapped to the outside of her home and proceeded to kick and push the monitors as much as possible. I don’t think that helped my uterus calm down. Ha It wasn’t until this morning that my uterus stopped being so touchy, and Noelle also decided to stop attacking the monitors. I had to laugh last night as the nurse was trying to find Noelle’s heartbeat. Every time the nurse would get the monitor on her, Noelle would kick like crazy and move. The nurse was even laughing and commented at how strong Noelle was (yes, there could be a bit of motherly pride leaking through there…ha).
I hardly slept last night, but I’m thankful that I only had to be there one night. Today my face started feeling really hot, and my eyes started burning. I was really wondering what was happening to me, but my doctor walked in and said that I had a nice steroid flush. Ha My face is still red, but I don’t feel like my eyes are burning anymore. I had to get one more steroid shot before I left the hospital this evening, so I’ll have a nice red glow for the next couple of days. My doctor checked me again this evening and was happy to tell me that my cervix had almost completely closed back up and that it was feeling much thicker than it did yesterday (thicker is good). He wants me on bedrest, and I have to keep taking the medicine for my contractions. Tonight, though, I’m just happy to be home.